A Superlative Year
2020 reflection in 20 minutes, with 20 questions
Many words — perhaps not all fit for print — could be used to capture 2020. One I’ll choose: “superlative.” It was simultaneously one of the best and one of the worst of my life, and I’m surely not alone in at least one of those sentiments.
I lost more than I thought was possible, following the year of loss I’d just emerged from in 2019.
Two (more) pregnancies. My beloved grandmother. Half of my team and my boss due to layoffs… for the second time in 8 months. Almost all of that in a 2-month span. And this doesn’t even include the losses we’ve shared globally, and continue to face.
Yet, I also feel more whole than I’ve ever been.
I learned to seek support (and found an excellent therapist… on March 11th, just in the nick of time!). I began prioritizing my health, from cooking more, to identifying skin allergies, to switching to a new fertility team that uncovered and fixed a major cause of my miscarriages. I’m learning to hear and ask for what I need. I’ve fallen in love with SF side streets, and with all the trails within driving distance. I took time off work to learn how to take care of myself, not just others or a business. I single-task more often. And, the biggest silver lining of all: left and right, I’m facing issues head-on that I used to happily let lurk under the surface, until they were dredged up by 5 miscarriages plus 2020. Oh, and I’m writing this from Kauai. 😁
It’s a lot to process. And though we might all be processing — or at least sharing wild tales of — 2020 for a long time, it’s also time to move forward.
While it’s comical to even imply that all will be mended January 1st, there is power in honoring what we’ve lost, learned, and gained, and starting the new year with purpose.
I know such an exercise can sound intimidating, overwhelming — it first did to me (and I *love* annual reflection exercises). But I also know that such practices are usually easier and faster than I first imagine they’ll be.
So, to kickstart — and simplify — my own reflection, I started from scratch. No need to read 2–3 books and pick up a handful of others’ favorite yearly questions, as I tend to when approaching year’s end. Instead, I took last weekend off tech and drafted then filled out a worksheet comprised of the questions I already know elicit real and important answers from me.
For me, the most effective questions tend to be superlatives. The more extreme the question (“What will I most regret? What is the one thing I must do?” “What is the best beer bar in the world?”) the more insightful the answer. And the less tempted I am to dilute my insight by offering up twenty sub-answers, or to spin on a tough topic. There’s refreshing clarity in the simplicity of offering up a single answer to a tough question… and also refreshing speed.
So, while you certainly can carve out a week to think about all of this, with a bag full of books with titles like “Your Best Year Yet” in tow, you don’t have to. Or at least I didn’t.
Instead, how about you grab a simple notebook, and 20 minutes of quiet?
20 minutes isn’t enough for you? Of course, you can always take longer, but we often already have our answers inside us, so why not just learn something by observing what comes to mind most readily?
If you do add more time, I suggest it’s added via days of digestion and passive contemplation rather than in active work. Fill this worksheet out today, then sit on it for a few more days. I took a first pass at this exercise December 19th, and will run myself through the 20-minute exercise at least once or twice more by January 1st (ideally after a long hike, or maybe a mai tai for… clarity). Or, if you truly want a mega session, add in some of the bonus questions, or take as much time as you’d like with your favorite 3–5 questions.
Regardless of how you do so, do so.
This year deserves to be captured, if not for you now, then at least for the wild tales you can share with the next generation.
Let’s put a bow on 2020, and may 2021 be superlative in the best of ways.
A Superlative Year: Annual Reflection Worksheet
2020 reflection in 20 minutes, with 20 questions
Read on, or make a copy for yourself here.
What are your favorite reflection questions or activities? Your biggest 2020 lessons? Feel free to share in the comments, or write to me directly at hello@jeanettemellinger.com.
